Fake Burps and Other Things I Might Be Doing Wrong

Little Liebchen:

My mother is sharing our personal conversations. Humph.

My mother is sharing our personal conversations. Humph.

{Burp} I burped.

I burped at the tea party.

(singsong voice) No burping at the tea party (ad infinitum).

This is now a favorite game of both children. And their parents.

Little Liebchen: What’s that?

Hipster Hausfrau, Pulling a boogie off Little Liebchen’s nose: A boogie. You have a boogie.

Little Liebchen: When can I eat that?

Hipster Hausfrau: Never. You don’t do that. At least not when people can see.

Hipster Hausfrau: You can’t pee standing up. I’m sorry. You need to sit down to pee.

Little Liebchen: I pee standing up like [Das Big Boy].

Hipster Hausfrau: No, you can’t. It will get on the floor. You need to sit.

Little Liebchen: I pee like Daddy and Das Big Boy.

Hipster Hausfrau: You can’t. You don’t have a penis. Vaginas* aren’t as good for aiming.

Little Liebchen: I have a penis.

Hipster Hausfrau: No, you don’t. [In an effort to stave off any nascent penis envy, because penis envy is obviously bullshit]: You have a vagina like I do. Vaginas are awesome!! Yeah, vaginas! [High five].

*I know pee doesn’t come from vaginas, and I know I should teach her that her external genitalia is called a vulva, but since no one else does, it’s difficult.

And a cute video of Das Big Boy, so he gets some air time, too:

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