Our People

Herr Husband and I had date night tonight, and as we so often do, we found ourselves among white sexagenarian Cantabrigians. Not sure what this says about us or our sense of fun.

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And of course, Paula Poundstone was hilarious.


Fake Burps and Other Things I Might Be Doing Wrong

Little Liebchen:

My mother is sharing our personal conversations. Humph.

My mother is sharing our personal conversations. Humph.

{Burp} I burped.

I burped at the tea party.

(singsong voice) No burping at the tea party (ad infinitum).

This is now a favorite game of both children. And their parents.

Little Liebchen: What’s that?

Hipster Hausfrau, Pulling a boogie off Little Liebchen’s nose: A boogie. You have a boogie.

Little Liebchen: When can I eat that?

Hipster Hausfrau: Never. You don’t do that. At least not when people can see.

Hipster Hausfrau: You can’t pee standing up. I’m sorry. You need to sit down to pee.

Little Liebchen: I pee standing up like [Das Big Boy].

Hipster Hausfrau: No, you can’t. It will get on the floor. You need to sit.

Little Liebchen: I pee like Daddy and Das Big Boy.

Hipster Hausfrau: You can’t. You don’t have a penis. Vaginas* aren’t as good for aiming.

Little Liebchen: I have a penis.

Hipster Hausfrau: No, you don’t. [In an effort to stave off any nascent penis envy, because penis envy is obviously bullshit]: You have a vagina like I do. Vaginas are awesome!! Yeah, vaginas! [High five].

*I know pee doesn’t come from vaginas, and I know I should teach her that her external genitalia is called a vulva, but since no one else does, it’s difficult.

And a cute video of Das Big Boy, so he gets some air time, too:


Snow Day, Part II

As you’ll see, we repeated some of yesterday’s favorite activities (hot chocolate and red wine drinking, reading, playing in the ball pit), but also added some new favorites (sledding), and some other activities from the list (puzzles, forts). Another favorite game of the moment involves using the the snake puppet to chase the children, having it pretend to eat them, then wrapping the children in a blanket and squishing them to mimic digestion, and then rescuing them by cutting them out of the snake. Rather visceral, and for whatever reason, incredibly amusing.

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Here is the fort. The children mostly wanted to crush it, and then get upset when it was crushed. I liked hanging out in there, though.

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Puzzle time!

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Our first time sledding ever (as a family)! It was a huge hit. Das Big Boy was very into negotiating for more runs. He was less into walking up the hill.

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And we’re off!

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My three favorites sledding together. Less successful: getting them up the hill. They kept tipping out, but when Herr Husband insisted that Das Big Boy walk, he got up and promptly ran back down the whole hill, such that Herr Husband and Little Liebchen had to sled after him, and then Herr Husband had to drag the two of them up again. I stood at the top and laughed. But I was laughing with them, not at them.

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Mouse paint.

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The children now have it in their heads that whenever we do mouse paint, they get to eat ice cream because I like to pair messy, pre-bath activities. This meant they got ice cream 45 minutes before dinner. But given that they’re both underweight, I decided it was ok.

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Ice cream goatee.

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These are the books we read today (I think I’ll start doing this every day, not to post, but to remember). But we did watch our George and Martha and a bit of Sesame Street. I downloaded the George and Martha HBO show (available on Amazon or iTunes), and it is hilarious and awesome. The stories are so short and simple that they form the basis for episodes with more expanded plots, but the show is incredibly tonally and visually faithful to the books. Maurice Sendak, who was a dear friend of James Marshall’s, produced it. If your kid likes the books, I recommend it. I enjoy it for sure.

No school tomorrow, either (early release, so no afternoon programs). Yet another fun and free day for me and the kiddos–hopefully we’ll continue on our hot streak of not driving each other crazy. And tomorrow, we’ll get out of the house for real. I actually had fun being cooped up with them, although my house is absolutely terrifying. My skill/fun level as a mom is inversely proportional to my housekeeping output. I’ve been pretty fun and good these past few days on the maternal front, so my house looks like shit. Ah, well. Better than the opposite. Hope at least something is going right for you all as well, and that you can take solace in it, whatever it may be.


Snow Day Photo Essay

Some highlights from our snow day. We also accomplished red wine drinking, junk food eating, and chasing. Mouse paint, TV, pillow forts, puzzles, puppets making and coloring will have to wait for tomorrow’s snow day. If you were snowed in, hope you had power and heat and that you enjoyed a great day, too! (Ours was helped immeasurably by our amazing neighbor who snow-blowed us out yet again–thank you!!)

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The kids in the Ikea egg chair together.

Then they turned on the Twilight Turtle in the playroom, and discovered how awesome it was in the Ikea egg chair. Awesome indeed. Adorable, magical end to the day.

Then they turned on the Twilight Turtle and discovered how awesome it was in the egg chair. Adorable, magical end to the day.

I didn't photograph it, but here is a dramatic reenactment of the children's faces moments after hitting the snow. They sobbed hysterically, so we brought them in for hot chocolate. Apparently the Husband Hausfrau children are neither hale nor hardy.

I didn’t photograph it, but here is a dramatic reenactment of the children’s faces moments after hitting the snow. They sobbed hysterically, so we brought them in for hot chocolate. Apparently the Husband Hausfrau children are neither hale nor hardy.

Tromping into the snow.

Tromping into the snow.

We won both times. Cooperative games may not work in this family. Both children insisted that they won, with Das Big Boy asking, "Yeah, but who won first?" when I emphasized that WE won.

Crow playing! We won both times. Cooperative games may not work in this family. Both children insisted that they won, with Das Big Boy asking, “Yeah, but who won first?” when I emphasized that WE won.

Here is the whole family in the ball pit. Little Liebchen's face captures how the children felt about this activity.

Here is the whole family in the ball pit. Little Liebchen’s face captures how the children felt about this activity.

This also occurred during the tea party (see #

Hot chocolate drinking also occurred during the tea party.

FreezeJump! To the wonderful music of Thomas and Friends.

FreezeJump! To the wonderful music of Thomas and Friends.

These are the books we read today.

These are the books we read today.

Here, Sad Owl and Happy Squirrel are in a cart at Ikea.

Here, Sad Owl and Happy Squirrel are in a cart at Ikea.

Pasta. Or watermelon. Delicious either way.

Playdough as pasta. Or watermelon. Delicious either way.

Making it.

Making playdough.

There's a fire. It's in the fireplace.

There’s a fire. It’s in the fireplace.


Snowpocalypse?

Is that what we’re supposed to call it?  Snowmageddon? Snopocalypse? Snopacshakur?

Anyway, I’m excited. This is my confession (to be sung to the tune of that Usher song, which is what Herr Husband and I do when we’re admitting something embarrassing):

I actually like snow days with my kids because I feel like we can be lazy,

and don’t have to get anything accomplished.

Here are some possible activities, all of which might be thrown over in order to focus on items 1, 6, 7, and 8.

Children in the snow. Like tomorrow, only with less snow.

Children in the snow. Like tomorrow, only with less snow.

1. Fire in the fireplace.

2. Homemade playdough (using the mixer is a big thing for our kids, thanks to George and Martha and Curious George and the Birthday Surprise), which leads to Strega Nona re-enactments and making Sad Owl.

3. Mouse Paint, inspired by the book, Mouse Paint, whereby my kids strip and paint with their bodies on paper that’s been taped to the floor. This leads to a bath, perhaps with a shaving cream fight.

4. Lots of book reading. Elephant and Piggie (we own like twelve of them) are figuring prominently these days because Das Big Boy can read many of the words in them himself!

5. Freeze jump (like freeze dance, but with jumping) in Little Liebchen’s crib.

6. Hot chocolate drinking.

7. Red wine drinking (21+ only).

8. Watching of George and Martha and Thomas, undoubtedly.

She finds this snowman very funny. Let's see how she feels about all the snow tomorrow.

She finds this snowman very funny. Let’s see how she feels about all the snow tomorrow.

9. Playing in the ball pit.

10. Playing tea party.

11. Chasing the children with an oven mitt, Beejer, and/or a toss pillow.

12. Junk food eating.

13. Puzzles.

14. Puppet making.

15. Crow playing.

16. Thomas coloring book coloring.

17. Pillow fort building.

Herr Husband won’t be going to work, obviously, and we’re stocked up on real food, junk food, kid essentials, wine, etc. The devices are fully charged. I think it promises to be cozy and exciting. We’ll check in tomorrow to see if I was right.


Transparent

You should not be reading this blog. You should be watching Transparent on AmazonTV, like I am. Remember how the best gift I got Herr Husband for Christmas was FiveTV for the bargain basement price of $79? It let me rewatch all of Arrested Development, and now it’s letting me continue the Jeffrey Tambor party with Transparent.

So, it took me until today to understand fully get the title. My brain isn’t always functional. It’s not just transparent as in transgendered, or as in coming out and fully visible as oneself. It’s Trans-PARENT. Duh. Because it’s about Maura (Tambor) a transwoman who comes out to her three adult children. There’s heartbreak and humor and great characters and incredible writing. Go watch.


My Name Is Hippopotamus and Other Conversations with my Two Year Old

"With a fruit goop mouth and a carrot nose, and two eyes made out of rocks..."

“With a fruit goop mouth and a carrot nose, and two eyes made out of rocks…”

Here is a conversation I had with Little Liebchen over lunch today:

LL: My name is Mr. Appleman.*

Me: Your name is Mr. Appleman? I remember naming you something different when you were born.

LL: My name is hippopotamus.

*I have no fucking idea who Mr. Appleman is or where she’s heard this name.

And later, once she realized Rocky thought it was hilarious, she latched onto it and kept announcing that her name was hippopotamus to anyone who would listen.

Das Big Boy rapping about our snowman.

Das Big Boy rapping about our snowman. LL eating snow.

We also built a snowman today, the first ever for THREE members of our family. Herr Husband claims he had never before built a snowman. It was funny seeing all of the snowman pics on Facebook today, and being like, Hey, friends who are parents of preschoolers and live in New England: we all did the same exact thing today. And also, Hey, I know you did 99% of the work because a) that snowman is three feet taller than your kid and b) I had to do almost all the work on my significantly smaller snowman.