Fat Squirrel Self Portait

Herr Husband, 2014 Skunk-o-lantern Knife in pumpkin.

Herr Husband, 2014
Skunk-o-lantern
Knife in pumpkin.

Yup, this post is just what it sounds like. Just got the kids in bed after a fun day that culminated in a delightful dinner at the “Railroad Restaurant” with Gigi, Papa, and Mimi. And there are dishes and laundry and lunches with which I must contend. So I’m tired.

Local Squirrel, 2014 Fat Squirrel Self Portrait Teeth in pumpkin

Local Squirrel, 2014
Fat Squirrel Self Portrait
Teeth in pumpkin

But I’ve been waiting to show you this amazing self portrait, as done by a local squirrel. As you may recall, Herr Husband carved a skunk Jack-o-Lantern to the delight of our children.

But it must have delighted our local squirrel less so. Perhaps he was offended not to be portrayed in the Jack-o-Lantern. Perhaps he’d just been yearning for the opportunity to craft a selfie, and finally had a medium he could work with. Whatever his reason, behold:

He seriously gnawed it into a squirrel shape, and a fat one at that, all the while fattening himself further. It’s so meta and po-mo and brilliant that I think my head is going to explode. And it’s a good likeness, too.  Fuck that skumpkin, said our squirrel, I’m going to make an image of myself. What a perfect representation of our times, and all times.

I wonder what other gifts he has. Maybe if I leave some playdough outside, he’ll sculpt himself in that, too. Or maybe he’ll sculpt a likeness of me… Is there a market for this stuff? Or could I turn it into a kids book about an artistically gifted squirrel? So many possibilities…

I told you I was tired.

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