RegressingPosted: October 22, 2014
No, not my children. Me.
Remember how I wanted Doc Martens? I bought them. And then Stitch Fix sent me a red plaid shirt (it’s not flannel but sort of silky and low cut and that makes it sound weird but it’s great). And I wear those two high school era items with black leggings (which are more 80s than 90s but I’m not wearing floopy jeans like I did in my misspent youth.) And I look like an angry teenager (who’s lived in a tanning booth smoking cigarettes and doing meth or whatever would give a teenager skin like I have). And then I go to preschool pick-up and everyone thinks I’m either trying too hard or insane. What they don’t know is that it’s a healthy mix of the two.
The Docs, disappointingly, are a half size too big, but Docs only come in whole sizes so I’m sucking it up. Plus, one of the reasons I’m into the Docs and other chunky boots right now is because I think big feet make your legs look small. It’s like the clown shoe version of dressing yourself slim. But seriously, have you ever seen a clown and thought, “Wow, look at those cankles.”? Exactly.
There you have it. My latest bit of style advice. Dress like a hard-living teenage clown.