Three Cute Things About My Toddler

Smells like socks. Tastes like heaven.

Smells like socks. Tastes like heaven.

1) It turns out we’ve just been offering my toddler the wrong foods. Things like blueberries mortally offend him. But offer him a bit of Taleggio, one of my favorite feet-smelling cheeses, and he gobbles it up. This may have to do with excessive uterine exposure to stinky cheese. But seriously, what kind of kid tosses a dried blueberry back at you and says, “Mommy’s!” but swipes Taleggio from the plate and then returns to say, “More cheese, please.”?  This is the child who never asks for more of anything, and who would never ask for food if you didn’t offer it to him. He requires cajoling/song and dance routines/books read by the hundreds to eat just about anything. But Taleggio. More.

2) One of Das Big Boy’s favorite activities at the moment is to hide and have you (or the puppet you’ve been assigned to play) find him. But he likes to direct the action, such that from his hiding place, he feeds you lines asking where he is. You then repeat these lines, and he answers them. Tonight he got a very creative in terms of places he might be, as demonstrated by the scene below.

Scene: The Hipster Hausfrau living room. Hipster Hausfrau is on the couch (duh). Herr Husband, playing to role of Pooplo puppet, is seated on the living room floor. Das Big Boy and Big Boy Owl enter the closet.

Das Big Boy: Where did [Das Big Boy] go?

12-26 overallsHerr Husband as Pooplo and Hipster Hausfrau: Where did Das Big Boy go?

DBB: Is he under the table?

HH/P and HH: Is he under the table?

DBB: No. [All “no”s are uttered in an adorable, isn’t-it-obvious voice]. Is he in the fireplace?

HH/P and HH: Is he in the fireplace?

DBB: No. Is he behind the couch?

HH/P and HH: Is he behind the couch?

DBB: No. Is he in the moon?

HH/P and HH: Is he in the moon?

DBB: No. Is he in the stars?

HH/P and HH: Is he in the stars?

DBB: No. [DBB pops out of closet]. Daaaaaaahhhh. [Laughs]

HH/P and HH: Daaaaaaahhhh. [Laugh. Pooplo puppet tickles Das Big Boy.] There he is!

3) For Christmas, La Gigi got me an incredible gift: A Hello Kitty Playhouse circa 1985. But Hipster Hausfrau, you’re thinking. You’re thirty-four years old. That’s right. I am. But long ago, I wanted this Hello Kitty playhouse. I had wanted it at home, and hadn’t gotten it when I asked. Then my mom and I were browsing in shops on vacation (we were in St. Martin on our way back from Anguilla, which is evidence of the fact that I was a damn lucky little kid and didn’t need a freakin’ Hello Kitty playhouse!). But there it was. “Can I have it?” I asked my mom. “I’m not going to buy it here,” she said, “but I promise I’ll buy it for you when we get back home.” But when we got home, it had disappeared from the Filene’s in my town where I’d originally seen it. And from every. Other. Place. Ever. So I never got it. And so I periodically brought it up as the one that got away.

Anyway, because she is amazing, La Gigi woke up at 4:45 in the morning to snatch it out from under some unsuspecting Ebay bidder, and then presented it to me on Christmas. I was ecstatic. So was Das Big Boy. Because I am a good mother, I shared it with him, even if the only child in me sort of wanted to hog it for myself. Das Big Boy has fixated on one of the two characters who came with the house, a paternal looking cat wearing glasses. La Gigi dubbed him Grandpa. Since then, Das Big Boy has been narrating little stories about Grandpa Kitty, all of which seem to involve him being a naysaying jerk with a deep voice. Das Big Boy will bellow, “‘No!’ said Grandpa,” or “‘No riding on the train!’ said Grandpa,” or “‘No climbing,’ said Grandpa.” All of the negative commands conclude with the phrase, “said Grandpa.” And Herr Husband and I find it hilarious. It should be noted that Das Big Boy’s actual Grandpa (Herr Husband’s father) has probably never said no to him in his life, and cannot be the inspiration for this Grandpa character. And El Papa is called Papa, and is also not a big naysayer.


Sweet dreams, sweet ballerinas.

Are you in the moon? Are you in the stars?

And tomorrow makes 35… (WEEKS! I won’t be 35 years old for another thirty-six days! Humph!).


One Comment on “Three Cute Things About My Toddler”

  1. Suzanne Eizenberg says:

    LOVE it! I laughed out loud at the “says grandpa” bit! I heard it for myself yesterday (Christmas) & I was still laughing about it tonight before I even read your blog! From now on that is going to be my definitive demand. And I will brook NO argument! H.Hausfrau you and El Papa have been warned! Says Grandpa!
    XO Mom

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