Gigi is Not a Man and Other Apologies

I must begin with an apology to La Gigi, historically misrepresented as Le Gigi. Apparently, I was masculizing my poor mother without realizing it. If there is a word for endowing someone with male qualities (like feminizing, but for dudes) I am too tired to think of it. Perhaps this warrants another apology.


The picture of the jelly donut was too horrifying to look at given that I had just mentioned mucus plugs. And I have a VERY high tolerance for such things. Apologies again.

La Gigi had a brilliant idea. Building on Mo’s notion that the cervix is donut like in nature, but acknowledging my fear of inviting my cervix to open by representing it with holed-foods, La Gigi suggested a jelly donut, which has, of course, a filled hole. This led me to get overly graphic, and go far beyond what La Gigi had intended by suggesting that the red jelly of a jelly donut or the cream of a Boston cream donut could represent the mucus plug. Gigi doesn’t like these kinds of donuts anyway (she’s a buttercrunch girl), so I didn’t ruin her taste for donuts. But surely I’ve just ruined yours. My apologies. As it so happens, jelly and Boston cream are two of my favorite donut types, so now I have good reason to eat them. Also, this conversation with La Gigi happened in my OB’s waiting room, but no medical personnel or disgusted patients chose to weigh in.

I will leave you with a video of Das Big Boy “reading” from Fox in Socks. You will note (perhaps) that he says, “Dr. Seuss.” Then he says, “Tongue tanglers,” because the book identifies itself as such. I’m hoping you won’t be able to stay disgusted with me because my kid is so cute…


3 Comments on “Gigi is Not a Man and Other Apologies”

  1. Morgan Faust says:

    I do hope someone from Dunky’s is tuning in and is prepared to snatch up this fantastic cross-marketing opportunity….cause if they don’t, those crafty underdogs at Honey Dew will not stand by and let this golden nugget of ad genius pass them by! I’m seeing a whole line of mother’s day cervix friendly donuts….

    • Heather says:

      I am suddenly looking forward to Mother’s Day 2013! And I’m surprisingly not disgusted. This is probably because I love cream filled doughnuts and I love laughing out loud. Together they override disgust.

  2. Erin says:

    Ahh, mucus plugs! I thought my water had broken, but it was just ye olde mucus plug. As soon as we got home from the hospital, I went into labor. Whatever helps, stay corked! Besides, I also love filled donuts, perhaps because they can be used to illustrate graphic/educational themes. Also, Theo’s reading of Fox in Socks is fantastic…that’s tough for literate adults to read aloud (husband read it aloud two nights ago).

    What are you reading right now? I’m reading Geek Love, but am not really loving it…it seems forced and surprisingly sterile.

    Stay healthy and pregnant!

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