Gigi is Not a Man and Other ApologiesPosted: November 13, 2012
I must begin with an apology to La Gigi, historically misrepresented as Le Gigi. Apparently, I was masculizing my poor mother without realizing it. If there is a word for endowing someone with male qualities (like feminizing, but for dudes) I am too tired to think of it. Perhaps this warrants another apology.
La Gigi had a brilliant idea. Building on Mo’s notion that the cervix is donut like in nature, but acknowledging my fear of inviting my cervix to open by representing it with holed-foods, La Gigi suggested a jelly donut, which has, of course, a filled hole. This led me to get overly graphic, and go far beyond what La Gigi had intended by suggesting that the red jelly of a jelly donut or the cream of a Boston cream donut could represent the mucus plug. Gigi doesn’t like these kinds of donuts anyway (she’s a buttercrunch girl), so I didn’t ruin her taste for donuts. But surely I’ve just ruined yours. My apologies. As it so happens, jelly and Boston cream are two of my favorite donut types, so now I have good reason to eat them. Also, this conversation with La Gigi happened in my OB’s waiting room, but no medical personnel or disgusted patients chose to weigh in.
I will leave you with a video of Das Big Boy “reading” from Fox in Socks. You will note (perhaps) that he says, “Dr. Seuss.” Then he says, “Tongue tanglers,” because the book identifies itself as such. I’m hoping you won’t be able to stay disgusted with me because my kid is so cute…