Today someone arrived at this blog by Googling “Hausfrau oral.” I have a feeling he (or she! ladies can like domestic porn too) was quite disappointed.

Someone else wanted to know if a hipster’s room should be green or yellow. I vote green. But an ironic bright or pea green. I suggest Benjamin Moore’s Eccentric Lime (but note that I like to choose paints based on the vibe evoked by their names).

Post-useless appointment play in Das Baby's room. Das Baby LOVES Die Großer Fahrt! Danke, Tonka (aka, the Huxtables)!

Today we had incredibly useless G-Tube training. Not: here’s how you will feed your kid through a belly tube, but instead: don’t give your kid a bath for a week after it’s inserted, and be sure to clean the site with a 1/4 hydrogen peroxide to 3/4 water solution, and twist the tube a quarter turn every day, and here’s how to tape it. (Vaguely reminiscent of the training I received after getting my navel pierced in Madrid in 1997.) These instructions seem like things we could have been told while he was in the hospital. I feel like training should have been more about the next bunch o’ months/years, not the one week post-procedure. But apparently the really useful info will come when he’s inpatient after the insertion.

And as for will it affect his motor skills/will it come out when he’s commando crawling (his new awesome baby trick!)? They say it should be ok.  But they also seem to think that a loop of tube that comes two inches off of his belly won’t be a yanking temptation if it’s under a onesie. Clearly, they don’t know my kid. The nurse merely said we should reinforce that he shouldn’t play with it. I pointed out that this was a tough age for getting a tube: he’s old enough that he will definitely notice it, and he’s mobile and curious enough to monkey with things, but he’s not so old that he responds to instruction. I’m pretty sure she shrugged in response. Sweet.

We still don’t have a date for the procedure. But we do know definitively that we’re skipping an NG (nasogastric, or nose to tummy tube) trial, thanks to our pulmo who feels such things are bad news for o2 dependent babes.

Herr Husband, Le Gigi, and I were all quite stressed out by the day. Das Baby seemed happy that he got to skip a meal while at the hospital, less happy that he missed his naps. Herr Husband and Das Baby decided to go to bed early to mitigate their respective anxiety and fatigue.

Gratuitous photo of Das Baby with smoldering face. Clearly we've been teaching him to play "America's Next Top Model."

I chose a big glass of red wine (yum), reading Motherless Brooklyn (double yum), and a blog sesh (you can rate the yumness) to quell my nerves.

I give this approach a B- for efficacy. Let me know if you have anything better, but keep in mind it has to be safe for lactating ladies and their offspring.

Does he get that look from his mom?

Or from his dad?


3 Comments on “Disappointments…”

  1. woowoomama says:

    how about if i took you out for a glass of wine one night? somewhere near your house? either you can talk all about das baby and i can listen or we can discuss shoes – which ever would be better. (or we can talk about woowoo stuff?)

    send me your number
    robinwoowoo at gmail


  2. […] is this Hipster Hausfrau? Disappointments… […]

  3. […] porn + dildo + elect: Clearly brought here by my previous references to misdirected porn seekers, my discussion of ultrasound dildo, and my obsession with the election, this person was obviously […]

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