SofiePosted: June 29, 2011
Sofie just might be one of the most divisive issues of our time. If you’re a parent (or at least a parent of a certain socioeconomic bracket), you know who she is. If you’re a normal person, you have no idea what I’m talking about.
Let me bring those of you without kids or an excess of cash up to speed.
This is Sofie.
Everyone I know who has a baby has a Sofie. She’s a required element of yuppie child rearing, even more ubiquitous among this set than a Bugaboo or an Uppababy (we’re totally team Uppababy, btw).
Sofie is the bestselling infant/toddler toy on Amazon.com, where she can be had for $17.32 instead of her retail price of $24. She’s a squeaky rubber giraffe and she costs $24. I wish I had been the one to come up with the idea of marketing dog toys to babies and inflating the price twentyfold.
Now, full disclosure. We have a Sofie (part of an adorable gift from my fabulous former boss, herself a preemie mom to a now wildly successful young woman). The gift also included an adorable preemie outfit and blanket, both of which also featured a giraffe. So Sofie fit right in.
And Das Baby loves Sofie now that he is teething (we think–copious drooling and an uptick in whining suggest either teething or transformation into a dog, inspired perhaps, by playing with a dog toy!). He tries to fit her whole head into his mouth. Maybe he won’t be a vegetarian like his parents. As long as he’s not a Republican (sorry, Republican friends/readers! Yes, that’s right. I have Republican friends).
Call me a bad yuppie mom, but I still don’t get why Sofie is such a thing. How do these marketing geniuses manage to convince us that we must have such things for our children? Do they use mommy guilt? Creepy mommy competitiveness? Is it that Sofie is French? Is the friendly half-smile painted on her face (see above) actually a Svengali mind control stare that makes us think we need her? What will she try to make us do next?
I’ve got my eye on you, Sofie. You’re not going to make me do anything. Unless you can make Das Baby stop crying when he’s teething. In which case I’ll do anything you want. Anything. Except vote Republican…Unless…
Damn, Sofie’s good.